The much-hyped Haight-Ashbury mansion-cum-drug rehab centre that was once allegedly owned by the late Janis Joplin has turned out to have NO connection to the hippie rocker at all. It turns out Joplin lived in the house NEXT DOOR during her heyday. Junkies who were planning on kicking the habit at the Joplin mansion have now decided they’d rather remain on heroin than detox at a rehab centre that “has no pinache,” as one junkie described it. Instead, they will continue to score heroin at the house next door. “The smack sucks,” said one addict, “but at least THIS place has some connection to Janis, unlike SOME houses I could mention.”

Joplin was famous in the late 60s for her raunchy blues voice and hard lifestyle, which included drinking and a heroin addiction. Heroin finally claimed the singer’s life in 1970, so it seemed fitting that a house that once belonged to her would now be used to help others kick their habit.

Has-been Country Joe McDonald, who was once Joplin’s boyfriend, said, “It’s hilarious!” when told of the mix-up. “Before you know it, they’ll just go by that street some day and say, ‘Janis lived somewhere in this three-block area and leave it at that.”

McDonald quickly shut his fat yapper when CyberStones asked him what his recent accomplishments have been, besides scoring some fleeting fame as the former boyfriend of a rock legend. McDonald sniffled and told this reporter, “I really did sleep with Janis Joplin! I really did!” but couldn’t produce any pictures, videotape or used condoms to prove that fact. CyberStones smells a big lie here.

Anyway, the social services organization that owns the mansion is not as embarrassed by the revelation as they should be.

“Whether she lived here or not, our centre is still true to the spirit of the ’60s in ‘the Haight’ in that it’s all about people helping each other,” said Thomas Reynolds, Director of Development.

I always thought the true spirit of the 60s was having promiscuous sex, dropping and using words like “groovy,” “far-out” and “psychedelic.” But what the heck do I know, right?

Meanwhile, former Joplin bassist Peter Albin, said the late rocker would have “gotten a good laugh” out of the mix-up had she not, you know, died of a heroin overdose and stuff.